You Facebook yard sale proprietors are either ignoring my advice or have the attention span of a hummingbird, so let me reiterate one very important thing.

Remember when I told you that no one, NO ONE, should give the gift of workout equipment unless it’s a very specific request made by the giftee?

Let me revise that to say, NO EXERCISE RELATED GIFTS. PERIOD.

I know it seems strict but I must tighten up my rules, because you kids are getting out of control, as seen here:

Look. Just because you can’t stand looking at this monstrosity that’s taking over your living room for one second more, doesn’t mean anybody else out there has room for it. At least you had the foresight to remove all the jackets and hoodies before snapping that photo. But you’re still not fooling anyone that this is nothing more than an expensive coatrack. So, not only is the gift of workout gear a big fat insult at Christmastime, but it’s also a ridicu-mous imposition. The sheer square-footage of this device makes it un-giftable.

No amount of extra “W”s in your post will convince anyone they need to purchase this for someone for Christmas, as well as go out to buy the weights to go with it, which, incidentally are far more expensive than a dumb old bench.

But when it’s all said and done, do you know what else makes workout gear the most un-giftable gift ever? The fact that none of these contraptions come with a receipt for store credit.